• The 10 most annoying series - part 2: teething
  • Author avatar
    Amelia Slocombe
  • babiesbabyfunnymotherhoodnecklaceparentingrelationshipsteethingtipstoddlerstop tentruthwoman

The 10 most annoying series - part 2: teething

Rock of Feather teething jewelleryOver the next few weeks, the Rock of Feather blog will be covering the "ten most annoying things" relating to a whole variety of issues we have to experience as parents. From sleeping to teething, from potty training to weaning, we will be reminding you why it's such bloody hard work bringing up a child. 

So, here is part 2, our 10 most annoying things to do with TEETHING:

1) Unfortunately teething is never just a case of waiting a day or two and then - hey presto- a tooth appears. No, for some reason, babies teeth FOR WEEKS ON END before you even see a speck of a pearly white. Sometimes you wonder if you'll be drawing your pension by the time your child has a full set of gnashers.

2) The appearance of a tooth can transform your calm and laid back baby into a biting, drooling Hannibal Lecter. Expect to have to fill in at least two accident report forms at nursery or play group, much to your embarrassment. And expect the mother of the bitten child to be a complete bitch about it. 

3) At some point during the process, either a doctor or health visitor will tell you that there is no medical evidence that teething has any side effects whatsoever. So basically the fact that almost every baby's teething coincides with a cold, a fever, nappy rash, flushed cheeks and looser bowels than an OAP on laxatives is just pure bloody coincidence. Lucky us.

4) Rather than wanting to chomp down on teething toys or frozen flannels, your baby would much rather chew on your car keys. Or a dog chew. Or the table leg. If it's inappropriate or unhygienic, your baby will make it their life's mission to have it. Whilst discarding Sophie le Giraffe like she has the bubonic plague. 

5) Your baby is almost certain to start teething the night after they've slept through for the first time. Meaning that as soon as you think you've nailed the sleep routine, you go back to having a baby that wakes up every hour. And by the time the tooth comes through, your little darling will have forgotten all about the fact that they are capable of sleeping a whole night without some kind of adult intervention. Requiring you to restart sleep training. ALL. OVER. AGAIN. 

6) To add to the general stress of teething, your baby is also guaranteed to stop eating as well. Just to make sure you are really kept on your toes. 

7) At some point during the teething process, you will have to listen to a lecture from a member of the "older generation" (usually a Great Aunt) as to why you should just give your child a dummy dipped in brandy or a teething solution discontinued in 1975. Whilst the advice is of no practical use whatsoever in an age where we can't even give our child formula without fear of a visit from social services, at the very least, you now know why second cousin Sarah is buck toothed and ever so slightly boss-eyed.

8) You hunt fruitlessly through countless branches of Boots and Superdrug for herbal teething powder, only to discover they're completely sold out. Why? Because it's also the same substance drug dealers use to cut cocaine. Suddenly the glazed out look your baby gets when you pour it into their mouth makes perfect sense. You resolve to buy some for yourself the second it is back in stock. 

9) Your baby's teething will ALWAYS coincide with an important family event. Normally one which involves a church, a funeral parlour or other venue where your child is expected to remain silent for at least 45 minutes. And definitely an event with a professional photographer present. Just what you need when your baby is bright red, snotty and unbelievably miserable. 

10) Just when you think it's all over and done with, fate deals you one last, cruel blow. Molars don't come through until a child is between 13 and 19 months. God's way of ensuring he really kicks you when you're down. 

Do you have a teething baby or toddler? Visit our site www.rockoffeather.com and purchase some of our utterly delectable (and fashionable) silicone jewellery. Perfect for your little teethers. 

  • Author avatar
    Amelia Slocombe
  • babiesbabyfunnymotherhoodnecklaceparentingrelationshipsteethingtipstoddlerstop tentruthwoman

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