• The 10 most annoying series - part 4: toilet training
  • Author avatar
    Amelia Slocombe
  • babiesbabyblogchildrenfunfunnygrowing upmotherhoodparentingpregnancyrelationshipstoddlerstoilettop tentruthwoman

The 10 most annoying series - part 4: toilet training

Rock of Feather teething jewelleryOver the next few weeks, the RoF blog will be covering the "ten most annoying things" relating to a whole variety of issues we have to experience as parents. From sleeping to teething, from potty training to weaning, we will be reminding you why it's such bloody hard work bringing up a child.

So, here is part 4, our 10 most annoying things to do with TOILET TRAINING:

1) Similar to most things you have to teach your child, don't expect it to be quick. Of course, there will always be THAT friend who succeeds with her 18 month old daughter in a matter of days. Just accept that you will never be THAT friend. And why would you want to be? Her daughter already has a higher IQ than you and that's just freaky.

2) It is pretty much guaranteed that your child will happily pee/poo anywhere in your house apart from the one place you want them to go. And just to make you feel really competent, they will usually save it for a time when your friend is over with her fully toilet trained and impeccably behaved children.

3) Expect at least one older relative to tell you that "in their day" babies were out of nappies at 12 months. Just nod politely, thank them for their advice and put it down to Alzheimers.

4) Part of you will wonder what is so bad about leaving children in nappies until they are teenagers. However little enjoyment you may get from changing a dirty nappy, it's nothing compared to scraping up poo with a nail file from your newly laid cream carpets.

5) The best bit about potty training is that however quickly they pick it up initially, at some point in time they will regress in a spectacular fashion. Think diarrhoea during a church wedding service. Or the world's biggest wee whilst stuck in a 10 mile tail back on the M25. And count on the fact that that will be the one time you don't have any spare pants. Don't be embarrassed about stripping them naked and wrapping them in a Sainsbury's carrier bag. Even if it is minus 5 outside. We've all been there.

6) Your child will develop at least one strange habit during the toilet training process. Whether it be insisting on peeing standing up (despite the fact they have no aim), watching CBeebies whilst having a poo (blame their father for that one) or chanting a bizarre toilet song you are pretty sure you didn't teach them, something barmy will become a firm part of their toilet regime. Just console yourself with the fact that you can bring it all up again at their 18th birthday party.

7) As with most things, whenever your child goes to stay with his or her grandparents, he will morph into a toilet trained cherub. They will miraculously develop the ability to avoid peeing on themselves, use the actual toilet and wipe their own bottoms for a full 24 hours. Unfortunately, as soon as you get them home they'll reward you by doing a huge dump on your floor.

8) You will start choosing restaurants based not on the quality of their food but their toilet facilities. And whilst disabled toilets are great for the extra space, beware the easy to unlock door handles, which your child will work out in seconds. Usually resulting in the door being opened to the view of the whole restaurant whilst you yourself are on the toilet.

9) If you thought your child was obsessed with watching you go to the toilet before this process began, don't be surprised if they up it tenfold. Nothing like having a beady pair of eyes asking to look at your own number two. Just don't take it personally if they criticise your efforts.

10) Your child will enjoy telling you they need the toilet every five minutes. The only time they won't tell you is when they actually need the toilet.

Do you have a teething baby or toddler? Visit our site www.rockoffeather.com and purchase some of our utterly delectable (and fashionable) silicone jewellery. Perfect for your little teethers.
  • Author avatar
    Amelia Slocombe
  • babiesbabyblogchildrenfunfunnygrowing upmotherhoodparentingpregnancyrelationshipstoddlerstoilettop tentruthwoman

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