The Importance of Purpose

Rock of Feather Mothers DayIt will be my fifth Mother's Day this year. During that short space of time, I have somehow managed to produce two adorable (yet MY GOD so exhausting) children. 

Mother of two. Even writing that feels alien. It seems like only yesterday I was queuing up to get in clubs an hour before they were due to close, wearing minuscule hot pants and tops without bras, downing shots that smelt of toothpaste and tottering around in ludicrously inappropriate (but oh-so beautiful) heels. 

And now here I am. Queuing up to get in Waitrose an hour before it opens, wearing extra baggy clothes and tops with really unattractive bras, downing coffee that means I never smell of toothpaste and shuffling around in ludicrously unattractive (but oh-so comfy) footwear. 

I look back to when I was 30. I didn't think I wanted children at all. I spent my money on clothes, and holidays, and nights out. I worked hard. I played hard. I had terrible hangovers and a lovely flat. I occasionally saved money in an ISA. I hung out with my boyfriend (now the father of my kids) and we would talk for hours on end over long drawn out meals in expensive restaurants. 

And I compare it to now. I rarely get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I only spend money on Amazon to buy things made of plastic. My four year old woke me up at 6 this morning in tears because he couldn't get a bogey out. My 14 month old has a cough so bad that she vomits in the most inconvenient of places. And I don't remember the last time I had a long and meaningful conversation with my husband. Unless you count arguments as to who is more tired as meaningful (I don't). 

But you know what? I'm strangely happy. Not in a Sound of Music "let's make clothes out of curtains and sing in the hills" kind of way. Just content. 

And when I really think about it, I'm actually not sure I was before. I was always after something else. More money. Better clothes. Bigger dreams. Now? I'm happy if I get to watch a programme on television that doesn't feature a dinosaur. And you know what? Somehow being able to have less makes you satisfied with more. 

What's more, motherhood has changed me. And strangely, after telling myself that the last thing I would do when I had kids is change, I don't think I mind. Because being a mother has not only made me a better, albeit more tired person, but is has also given me a purpose that I never really had before.

It's an important thing, purpose. It doesn't need to come from children, it can come from anywhere. But I think if you don't have it, it can make you feel a little bit like you are lost at sea without a life jacket. 

So my Mother's Day message is this. Whether you have kids or not, it doesn't matter. What you do with your life (as long as you aren't hurting someone else) doesn't matter. Just find yourself some purpose. Because purpose is meaning. And meaning is the path to contentment. 

Happy Mother's Day.
  • Author avatar
    Amelia Slocombe
  • babiesbabyblogchildrenfriendshipfunnygrowing upInspirationlifememoriesMother's DaymotherhoodparentingrelationshipsRock of Feathersleeptoddlerstruthwoman

Comments on this post ( 1 )

  • Mar 15, 2017

    Well said Amelia, I believe it was a Helen Steiner Rice poem that said “Life without purpose is barren indeed, you won’t get a poppy if you don’t plant the seed.”
    It’s why we should wake up every morning, content with what we have and a reason / purpose to enjoy every minute of every day,

    — Sally Carr Day

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